Keep It Simple, Keep It Safe

Much like land wars in Asia and dealing with your in-laws, ordering a cake is all about keeping certain information to yourself.

You don't leak state secrets, you don't say you hated last Sunday's casserole, and you never, EVER, tell a baker what size to write the 75:

BIG MISTAKE.

In fact, try to avoid giving your bakery any information you don't have to. Too much information just gums up the works, you guys. It's confusing. It's risky.

For example, does the bakery need to know WHY you want Kelly's cake in orange and blue?

No. No, it does not.

And if you don't want a name on the birthday cake, it's really not a good idea to ask for the icing to be "Tiffany blue."

A rose by any other name may smell as sweet, but your-friend-who-isn't-named-Tiffany's gonna be pissed.

Hey, speaking of names, did you know there's a singer named Yolanda Adams?

I didn't. Neither did this next baker.

So saying, "Like the singer Yolanda Adams" might not be as helpful as you think:

Boops.

And finally, minions, if you provide a photo reference for your cake order, like this:

Then let the photo do the talking, so to speak. Don't add more. Don't go on to say that you want the bakery to "make it as Mexican as possible."

Because you know what's really, REALLY Mexican?

(This is not the set up for a racist joke, I swear.)

The Mexican flag.

(The green pitchforks, not so much.)

Thanks to Sarah M., Morgan W., Mary P., Sandra G., & Mar O., who Sauron what I did there with the title.

*****

All these birthday cakes got me thinking about the fact that I need a new calendar because it’s ALMOST DECEMBER and I saw this one and I laughed and laughed and shot Mountain Dew out my nose.

Pooping Pooches 2025 Calendar

I have SO MANY people I want to buy this for.

*****

And from my other blog, Epbot:

JOEY DOESN'T SHARE FOOD

Last week someone in a Facebook group I belong to asked a question that made the rest of us sit up and take notice.

The question was, "Does my arm look like a turkey leg?"

And you guys, it totally did.

It turns out this is intentional; Rachel here is dressing up as Thanksgiving Dinner for an upcoming marathon. So the next time you need a pick-me-up, just think of Rachel, running around in public, dressed as a giant turkey dinner.

And the next time you see a turkey cake, remember this oh-so-seamless segue:

Does this look like a turkey leg?

'Cuz it's their "specialty."

How 'bout this one?

Ahh, but nothing beats this beauty:

'Tis the season... to run screaming from the bakery!

Rest assured Rachel will be way ahead of us... wearing shoes with pies on them:

Have I mentioned Rachel is my hero?

Thanks to Amanda G., Emily J., Amy O., Bucklebee, & Rachel, who I'm sure would never forgive me if I didn't include the most appropriate Joey gif of all:

You’re welcome!

*****

And from my other blog, Epbot: