Give Me One Moment In Time... To Scream Incoherently Into The Void

What's that? You don't have a "moment of frustration" to scream about?

::looks around at all of 2024 like John Travolta lost in a Target::

 Really? Nothing?

Huh. Well, OK then, here come a few scream-worthy suggestions.

They asked for a pink soccer ball cake, like this:

But instead, they got this:

(I think the noise I just made qualifies as a scream.)

"Don't worry," this next baker said in reassuring tones, "I'll just add that in and no one will ever notice."

[....]

Raise your hand if you noticed.

"John" is literally the most common name in the U.S., and pretty high up there in other English-speaking countries. EVERYONE knows a John, or has used a John. ::snerk:: Furthermore, John only has 4 letters! If any name is impossible to misspell, it has to be...

::wearily bonking head on keyboard::

::notices how they spelled 'Birthday'::

::Bonking Intensifies::

Thanks to Joe R., Allison, & Sam K. for spending some of that John dough.
*****

P.S. I went looking for pink soccer balls, and look what I found!

Toddler Soft Soccer Ball w/ Pump

 D'awww. They also have panda and bunny versions at the link.

*****

And from my other blog, Epbot:

Who Wore It Better: Thong Guy Or This Tube Of Lipstick?

What do you think, worst proposal ever?

I mean, it's misspelled and on a DONUT, for StayPuft's sake.

Then again, if they say no, I suppose you could claim it was a joke ("I just meant I'm really cheerful!") and eat the evidence super quick. So hey, silver lining.

I can't decide if this is an argument for more art in school, or less:

o.0

And hey, speaking of anatomically improbable figures:

Is his chin a pepper shaker?

And please tell me I'm not the only one squicked out by the thong-not-reaching-all-the-way-between-the-legs thing. YOUR THONG NEEDS BETTER SUPPORT, DUDE. Nobody wants all that flapping around and migratin' and whatnot.

(I know what you're thinking, and yes, I would be a terrible person to invite to your bachelorette party. I'd be the one handing out sweaters and Purell and asking if we can turn the music down.)

And finally, these segues practically write themselves, because someone ordered this MAC lipstick cake:

...but in leopard print. I have no idea why.

Anyway, Douglas Adams was right, y'all: BEWARE OF THE LEOPARD.

Especially when it's supposed to be leopard-spotted lipstick. Which, ostensibly, this is. [suspicious look] Yeeeeeah.

Thanks to Leah F., Tiassa, Naomie-Ruth, & Aviancee, who I'm still not sure I believe, but hey, I report, YOU DECIDE.

*****

P.S. For some reason I feel like your life needs more ridiculous pepper shakers in it, and OH LOOKIE HERE:

Elvira Salt & Pepper Shaker Set
That third image's gonna haunt me.

*****

And from my other blog, Epbot: