Brain Cakes For Babies

If you have a daughter named Brandon, guess what you get asked the most?

I'm kind of loving the piping gymnastics the baker had to go through to fit all that on there. Do you think at any point she stopped to wonder... ?

Naaaah.

Uh, guys? Did I miss something? Are brain cakes for babies a thing now?

Because the pics of little Toby covered in red cake gore are seriously not safe for life.

Believe it or not, though, that's not the wreck. See, someone else wanted a cake just like that for their baby... but instead they got this:

It looks like a big mushy ball of Mac n' Cheese. Which, let's be honest, is WAY BETTER THAN BRAIN CAKES FOR BABIES, mmkay? Yeesh.

Ok, maybe the brain cake is too divisive of an issue.

So can we at least agree that THIS is wrong?

"Icing shots?!" With no cake?? FOR $2.00??

Whaddaya mean, you like that much icing? Are you INSAAAANE?

(Side Note: anyone else distracted by the "Dry Old German Chocolate" sign? I was about to be impressed by their honesty before I realized it's supposed to be "Day." Heh.)

Well, in the interests of minion harmony, let's end with a classic:

A birthday cake with "a big number 2 and stars on the sides."

I guess there wasn't room to write "stars" on both sides. 
Shame.

Thanks to Jennifer B., Amanda N., Kathleen, K.T. for bringing us only the second-best stars.

*****

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It's Like Beer Goggles For People With Dirty Minds

We all start out so innocent.

Every kid loves balloons, right?

Until one day, you start to look closer.

"Hey! Waaaait a second..."

!!

Next thing you know, you see them circling everywhere.

Dancing, mocking you.

Gathering their forces.

Closing in. 

You: "Someone else is seeing this, right? It's not just me? TELL ME IT'S NOT JUST ME."

Everyone else: ::silence::

Everyone else: ::silence::

Everyone else: "Haaaaappy birthday toooo you!"

Don't worry, though, minions; eventually you learn to make peace with your new super power. And one day, you may even start to have fun with it.

Like this:

Ready...

Aim...

FI-YUR!!

Admit it, our way is way funnier.

Enjoy your boring old "balloons" and "candles" everyone else; we'll just be over here nudging each other and snickering.

Thanks to Laura P., Danielle N., Amanda M., Deborah V., Sam H. & Cindy A. for not letting one climactic birthday go to her head.

*****

Do you shop Amazon? Then how about clicking through my affiliate link to shop? USA, UK, Canada.

 Visiting Amazon through those links will help support the site, and costs you nothing. Thanks, guys!

And from my other blog, Epbot: