There's Really Only One Direction This Can Go...

Wrecky minion Catie paid her bakery $150 to make a Death Star cake something like this:

(Anyone else have a baaaad feeling about this?)

Here's what she got:

THAT'S NO DEATH STAR.

I especially like the paper cut-outs of light sabers. o.0

Over in Things That Actually Exist, here's the "One Direction Chart Topping Cupcake Kit:"

They had to make the frosting chocolate, didn't they.

Now, granted, those weren't made by a professional baker. As we all know, a professional would make that kit look truly... er...

Never mind.

(WHY IS IT SO GREEN?! *hurk*)

According to the bakery where Stacie bought it, this is a dolphin:

A DOLPHIN.

Really.

And finally, yes, I'm sure it's intentional, and it's probably not even new, but it made me laugh, so HERE:

Thanks to Catie, Matthew C., Anne, Stacie S., & Sandra O. for inspiring everyone's next office birthday cake.

*****

Also I’m sad to report, dear minions, that I couldn’t find the One Direction Chart Topping Cupcake Kit on Amazon … but I DID find this:

The One Direction “Girl Talk” Board Game.

ERMERGERSH. Anyone else tempted to get some cupcakes and some wine coolers and make a night of this?

And on my other site, Epbot:

No Excuses? Here, Try These

Dear Jen,

Help! It's July and there are no good holidays coming up, plus no birthdays in my family, and I WANT CAKE. Can you help?

- Cakeless in Cincinnati

Dear Cakeless,

My dear wrecky minion, you've come to the right place. Fact is, there are lots of excuses for cake, if you only learn to celebrate the little things in life.

A few suggestions:

I POOPED TODAY!

View fullsize

Depending on your fiber intake, I bet some of you could celebrate this EVERY day.

My '99 Nokia Still Works!

Leslie claims this was supposed to say "Old friends are the best." But think about it: can you play Candy Crush on your friends while you're pooping? NO YOU CANNOT.

I rest my case.

It Was Just a Heat Rash!

Time will tell.

(Actually, Rebecca tells me this was supposed to say "Baby." Is she telling the truth? Mmmm... PERHAPS.)

I'm A Pleasant Dining Companion!

Especially while eating cake.

That Thing Is Over!

SUCH a relief, am I right?

But maybe none of these apply to you, Cakeless. 
In that case, here's one for just about everybody:

Not Dead Yet!

In fact, I think we should all congratulate each other for not being dead yet.

So, congratulations, guys.

And sorry, ghosts-with-internet-access.

Thanks to Alyssa V., Rebecca W., Leslie M., Emilie F., Scott D., & Kat R. for the perfect excuse.

*****

And now, our product placement of the day!

A Sloth’s Notebook Of Excuses

And from my other blog, Epbot: