7 Hilariously Creepy Cakes For Friday the 13th

What's Friday the 13th without some unintentionally creepalicious treats? So bakers, take it away!

[blood-curdling shriek]

No, seriously, bakers: TAKE IT AWAY.

Thanks to Amanda W., Jessica N., Stephanie M., Liz P., Anony M., Meghan W., & Kate B. for reminding us our days are numbered.

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Oh hey, if you're shopping online this week, remember to check out my Amazon shop front! I have lists of funny gifts and clothes and toys and such that might help inspire you for those hard-to-buy-for types:

The 5-Word Phrase Every Baker Should Know

Bakers, we need to talk. Please, have a seat.
[waits while 15,000 bakers find chairs]

I thought we might try something new today. It's called "refusing an order," and it's made up of 5 simple words: "Sorry, I can't make that." Easy, right?

Let's practice. I'll be the customer.

Hi there! I'd like you to make this peppermint candy cake, please! I'm VERY enthusiastic, and I have money!

Now you say, "Sorry, I can't make that."

Frank: "I could TOTALLY make that! Look!"

Aaaand stop. Can anyone tell me where Frank went wrong?

Judy: "Frank accepted the job?"

EXACTLY. Let's try again.

Excuse me, I'd like you to hand pipe this picture of Madonna on a cake. How much?

Now YOU say...

[whole room murmuring] "Sorry, I can't make tha..."

Judy: "On it!"

Oh, Judy.

Judy, Judy, Judy.

Who knows what Judy should have said?

[all murmuring together]: "Sorry, I can't make that."

Right! Let's try a lightning round.

Barb! Quick! You can't make me this Spider-Man cake, can you?

Barb: "Dang right I can! WATCH THIS!"

[rubbing temples] Come on, bakers, remember your five words!

How 'bout you, Phil? Think you can make this flaming skull cake?

Phil: "Gosh, I don't know, that's pretty hard..."

Good, good! Recognize your limitations! Now you say, "Sorry, I can't..."

Phil: [interrupting] "Oh, what the heck! Gimme ten minutes!"

You're monsters, all of you.

Well, that's our time. Let's meet back here again tomorrow for a new installment of Don't Fear The Dictionary. You monsters.

And thanks to Gena M., Christine T., Lea T. & Marisol L. for today's object lessons.

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P.S. Hey all you monsters, may as well have giant comfy slippers to match, right?

Monster Paw Slippers

I'm actually wearing big badger feet slippers at the moment, but they don't have much of an insole, so these look like a serious upgrade. Plus, extra ankle coverage. Mmmm.

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And from my other blog, Epbot: