Three Wrecks Guaranteed To Make Your Eye Twitch

This cookie cake is the visual equivalent of cruising down a smooth, freshly paved highway... and having your front tire fall off:

Oooh. So close.

This one's more like tripping and falling in front of a bunch of people, then getting up like nothing happened and limping off with a whistle just to show you meant to do that:

Bad news, Moms-To-Be: you're about to experience painful contractions.

Ahh, but nothing, NOTHING compares to reading this last cake aloud:

And that's how you sound like a Southern Belle wishing her hoo-haw a happy birthday, y'all.

Thanks to Melissa B., Desiree P., & Deedra G. for inflicting that fabulous new nickname on Virginias everywhere.

*****

P.S. Speaking of things that make your head hurt, a friend recently got me this gel cap for my migraines, and sweet icy Stay Puft, y'all, it's amazing:

Migraine Hot/Cold Gel Cap

I have a huge head and a lot of hair, so it's pretty snug on me, but the extra pressure with the cold is heavenly during a migraine. I used to hold a cold pack and keep shifting it around from side to side, but this wraps my entire skull in a cooling hug. Ahhhh so good.

I keep the gel cap sealed in the fridge all the time now, so I can grab it as soon as a headache starts up. The cold only lasts 15-20 minutes, but it's 1000% worth it in my book, highly recommend.

*****

And from my other blog, Epbot:

FYI: The Halloween Ghosts Are Coming Along Swimmingly

ATTENTION MINIONS:

Just a PSA to let you know your friendly neighborhood wreckerators have been MOST productive this week.

Check out what's "Coming Soooooon."

(It's actually supposed to read "Boooo," but my version is way scarier when you throw sperm into the mix, am I right?)

(Granted, almost EVERYTHING edible is scarier when you... sorry. I'll stop now.)

Yeah. My thoughts exactly, little guys.
(Look at their little arm floaties! D'awwwww. So adorable.)

Of course, as we ladies know, it only takes one:

Ghost, that is.

You know, to scare you.

It only takes one ghost to scare you.

Because these are all TOTALLY ghosts we're talking about.

Right, guys?

"Yep, only ghosts here!"

"We're super scary!"

"OoooOOOOoooo!"

"Anyone seen any giant bubbles we can head-butt really hard?"

"SHUT UP PHIL WE'RE GHOSTS"

Thanks to Bethany E., Erin W., Jen N., & Jennifer K. for the weirdest sex ed class ever.

*****

P.S. Here's a fun gift for this spooky season:

Little Blue Truck's Halloween Board Book

It's interactive with lift-the-flap surprises, has over 10,000 5-star ratings, and is on sale this week for $6 Prime!

*****

And from my other blog, Epbot: