Bottoms Up!

New Year's Eve is tonight and it looks like a few bakers have started celebrating early, if you know what I mean.

Yep. Definitely a whole lotta "celebrating" going on.

Yessirree, some serious merry-making.

I'm talking some exuberant saucy-sloshed tipsy-toppy revelry, people.

[winkwinknudgenudge]

[nodding knowingly]

[waggling eyebrows]

****

[uncomfortable silence]

*****

[crickets chirping]

****

Ok, maybe we should address the elephant in the room.

THE BAKERS ARE DRUNK.

I mean, c'mon. How else can you explain this?

****

[head tilt]

Wow. What a waist.

Holly G., Catie C., Patricia W., Jodee R., Amanda M., & Mrs C. for reminding us to always - ALWAYS - hic UP.

This Is Halloween. (No, Really.)

Greetings, bakers! This handy guide will demonstrate how easy it is to turn your bakery's plain stock cakes into fabulously frightening Halloween designs.

Ready?

Then let's get started!

First, nothing says "Halloween!" like a sprinkling of candy corn:

So easy, the deli guy can do it!

Or, October is the perfect month to stretch your product's shelf life. When the icing cracks and the colors fade, just add a spiderweb!

See? Now you meant to do that!

And why not take this opportunity to "customize" your scones?

"That'll be $1.20 extra for our 'tomb scone specials.'"

Or, since studies* have shown that customers prefer plastic over pastry nearly 37 to 1, far better to reach for your trusty Flotsam Bugs®!

* We asked our marketing team.

Suddenly, Stanley felt the tide of power turning...

Flotsam Bugs® are grrreat for turning any design into a Halloween one. Can your bakers only make roses? Nooo problem. Just add a Flotsam Bug®, and poof!

Now that's one scary Halloween flower!

Or, how about turning a birthday present into a Halloween birthday present?

Spine-chilling, isn't it?

But let's say you have character cakes already decorated with an assortment of flotsam. What then?

Why, just pipe a few ghosts on, silly!

Hm? What's that? How do you pipe ghosts?

Uh...

Ever see a cactus?

Perfect!

And finally, what about all those doggy cupcakes you're required to pump out by the pound? Well, a little Flotsam will soon have you seeingeye-to-eye with your customers!

[chortle]

Or, if you want to go the extra mile, give Patches some patches!

Good dog that's awful.

I mean, uh, look how cute!

And remember, bakers, once Halloween is over it's easy to convert your cakes back, too:

"Aw, Suzy, don't cry! It's just a sweet little kitty cat! See? He's smiling at you!"

Thanks to Wreckporters Katrina S., Kristin S., Holly Q., Emily A., Sara F., Megan G., Jess & Connor W., Bettie P., Stacey K., & Kristen, who know that a party hat makes everything better.

*****

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