Wreckerators Hate Zebras, Here's Proof

I've discovered something incredible, minions: wreckerators hate zebras.

It's true!

Wreckerators hate zebras so much, they can't even look at them - which is why so many "zebra-striped" cakes end up looking like poop smears:

  Or DNA sequencing:

Or, my personal favorite, the Mind Flayer from Stranger Things:

Now, just as a reminder, this is what a zebra looks like:

(wreckerators, avert your eyes)

And these are what zebra stripes look like on cake:

But if you order that from a wreckerator, be prepared for things to go, shall we say, swimmingly?

That is, be prepared to have a certain... outburst.

Or rather, be prepared for whatever comes your way.

I feel like there are more sperm puns here, hang on.

Oh! I know.

What's black and white and bred all over?

I'll stop now.

Thanks to Jasmine H., Jennifer B., Katie V., & Barb for that fascinating intercourse.

*****

And from my other blog, Epbot:

Americans Werkin' It

Today we celebrate the American work force that labors so hard to keep this great nation of ours running.

Plus the ones who did this:

/\';;'/\

Baker: "Well, the customer said she wanted 'Buy Ryan,' but THAT doesn't make any sense, so...
better add some ellipses."

And lest you think we only have bakers who do this:

Nope.

Thanks to Andy W., Ashley B., Sylvia C., & Jo H. for giving us the shirt off her back clearance aisle.

*****

P.S. If you want to get overly literal with someone you love, there's also THIS:

I Love You "Written In Stone" Rock

I'm convinced this was a manufacturer error, but they made a whole warehouse full so now they're just pretending they meant to do that.

*****

And from my other blog, Epbot: