Worst Wrecks In The 'Verse

Bad poetry is like a really bad analogy.

And super fun to write.

Shall I compare thee to a summer's day??

...no.

Chomp

We were all so sorry
To hear of your fate,
We still don't know
How it escaped from the crate,
But...

Movement In P Major

You are such fun
Second to none,
Indeed it's true,
You're not number 2

Belaboring The Point

I do not mean to vex
Or be overly complex
I'm awkward at showers
Would you have preferred flowers?
Ah well...

Getting It All Out There

You're the Duchess to my Duke
The Leia to my Luke
And when I think about you
I really want to

...feed you cake.

Thanks to Peter F., Sharon M., Brandy, James H., & Joel P. for finding no rhyme or reason to these wrecks.

*****

P.S. Are you in the market for bad poetry in the form of "an unholy, unmerciful, but richly humorous book"?Then YOU ARE IN LUCK:

The Stuffed Owl: An Anthology of Bad Verse

This is going on my gift-list.

*****

And from my other blog, Epbot:

Do The Floppy Flips

Ahh, flip-flops. The quintessential, mandatory summer footwear of summer-dwelling people who also have feet.

Look closely. You're about to forget what these look like.

Here in Florida, you'd be hard pressed to find a person NOT wearing flip-flops right now. That's because we're actually required to have a minimum of 6 pairs each, along with an annual pass to Disney World, a full keg of OJ, and a sickly pale non-tan that helps us differentiate each other from the tourists.

But, I digress.

Naturally, bakers are RIGHT ON TRACK with the floppy flip sole train:

By offering us spotted pickles.

(CHOOCHOO, MOFOS)

And lei-wearing bam-hammers.

And... uh... [reaching desperately] Pikachu smears?

And...

OH COME ON

[evil, deadpan glare]

Wrecky minions, it is with only the greatest horrified amusement that I announce the flip-flop CCC (patooie!) has officially warped beyond all recognition. I give you...

The Tadpole Ghosts of Flops Past.

Rest in pieces, wrecky flops. Rest in pieces.

Thanks to Alexis H., Kris K., Rebecca K., Danielle H., Tina, & Zakiya P. for toeing the line.

*****

Y'all. These fish are flip-flops (fish-flops?), and people are RAVING about them in the reviews, and I don't know what's happening anymore, and I'm a little scared:

Bing Rui Fish Slippers

I love that they leave "fishprints" as you walk, though. Ha!

They come in 5 other colors, in case you'd like your fish shoes to be more realistic. Which is a sentence I never imagined myself writing back in college.

*****

And because it’s a very relevant post from my other blog, Epbot: