Self-Care, Angry Poop, & EVERYTHING IS CAKE

It's "Internet Self-Care Day," minions, and isn't it ironic? Don't ya think?*

[*Evil laugh, evil laugh, evil laugh]

Anyone who still has a functioning Facebook account can tell you the internet is why we NEED self-care most days.

Remember when graduation cakes were a thing, because there were actual people at actual parties?

Aw, those were the days. The "Gradulating" days.

Now all we do is sit at home and watch video compilations where everything is cake. Have you seen these things? Where someone cuts into a can of soup or a tennis shoe that you'd SWEAR was the real thing, but then it's actually cake?

Hang on, I'll show you what I mean:

Would you believe this is a cake???

I mean, you shouldn't.

It's not.

BUT THIS IS:

I know, I can hear your mind blowing from here.

Anyway, my point is, life online right now is like one of those game shows where you choose a door for your prize, except behind every door there's a giant pile of poop.

No, but it's like, judgmental poop.

And it's yelling at you.

Yeah. Like that.

(That's actually a fan-made wreckplica of THIS classic wreck, but I had to share since it's from my #2 fans.)

So in conclusion, the best way to celebrate Internet Self-Care Day... is to get off the internet. Go color with your kids, or get take-out with your SO, or just crash on the couch and binge the next season of Glow-Up on Netflix, because AW YEAH THAT'S OUT NOW. (John and I are up to episode 4, DING DONG, BABY.)

And just to be safe, maybe start poking everyday objects to make sure they're not cake.

Thanks to Justin & Diana, Anony M., Karin G., Christa H., & Sarah M. for coming through in a pinch.

P.S. Oooh, even more irony: everything is cake... except THIS CAKE:

Because it's a Hallmark pop-up card! Cute!

... but just for the record, I'd rather have cake. ;)

*****

And from my other blog, Epbot: