10 Painfully Punny Wrecks For Dad's Day
Now, you guys KNOW I love puns, but around Father's Day bakers start cranking out a veritable plethora of pastry puns sure to make even the toughest dad cry, "What's THAT supposed to mean?"
It starts out cute:
"Reel great!" With a fish! Haha!
Then it gets awkward:
"Yep, mom's one lucky lady to land you, IF you know whadda... ok now I'm grossing myself out."
Then confusing/borderline insulting?
Not sure calling Dad "a hole" in ANY context is good.
But then it just gets desperate:
"Not to bee that guy, but this cake gives me hives."
"Because sometimes we take you for granite!"
[head tilt]
"Or for cow spots."
Moo-ving on...
Then there are all the missed opportunities. I mean, c'mon, bakers:
Why doesn't this say, "Let's get hammered!!" WHY?!
Fun Fact: Have you noticed puns make bakers - yes, all of them! - forget how to spell "you're?"
Now, can I borrow twenty bucks?
...by which I mean you are SUCH a drag.
Maybe if you spin around long enough it'll look like a top.
There are two ways this next pun could have worked. Thankfully, the baker missed both of them:
There are FOUR. DADS!
(You're welcome, TNG fans.)
And last but not least, my favorite bad pun of all:
If your mind immediately went to a disturbingly gory place with this cake, then congratulations. WE CAN BE FRIENDS.
Yep, not only would I buy this cake, I would pay extra for a few red gel splatters on the cake board.
(Uh, because I get my warped sense of humor from my dad, not because I want to saw him up. Honest. HI, DAD.)
Thanks to Aneela Q., Christopher W., Nicole J., Elisabeth K., Ashley B., Jen W., Brooke D., Megan Z., Elena E., Tracy M., & Cindy K. for sawing what I did there.
*****
P.S. In case this post wasn't glorious enough:
There are a lot of "dad joke" books out there, but this one has awesome ratings AND the word "spiffing" on the cover, so it's a clear winner.
And good news, there's a Volume 2!
Exceptionally Bad Dad Jokes, Vol II
This one has the word "spiffing" in the title AND comes with a lovely green-and-gold cover, so folks will recognize your sophisticated taste while begging you to stop telling these terrible, TERRIBLE jokes.
