Punctuation Rule's

Today I thought it'd be good to go over the five basic;... "punctuation" rules.

Bakers, pay attention.

Rule #1: Sometimes periods, question marks, and exclamation points are important.

And they usually go at the end of the sentence.

(But what if it's not mine?)

Rule #2: Commas. Use them.

Unless you actually own an ass quitter.

Also note that the word "comma" can sometimes sound like "karma."

Just FYI.

Rule #3: Apostrophe's. Sure. Why not.

(And that's the FIXED version...)

Rule #4: When in doubt, throw in some extra exclamation marks.

What you lack in competency you can always make up for with enthusiasm.

Or, if you're REALLY confused, try some ellipses!

Eh?!

And finally:
Rule #5: Quotation Marks Are For Sarcasm, NOT EMPHASIS.

If it helps, just imagine Dr. Evil saying the bit you put in quotes.

Yep, just follow these five simple rules, and you'll be fine.

"Promise.”

Thanks to Terry H., Mel P., Shawn G., Kate A., Chrissie G., Ebony M., Megan H., Christina M., Norma Jean, Andrea P., & Sarah V. for the extra dose of eeee-vil.

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A lot of you need this shirt. Just saying’.

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And from my other blog, Epbot:

Jen Pipes Down

Although the past few days have been fun, I think we're all ready to just let some Wrecks speak for themselves, don't you?

Wow. Very eloquent, Beth H. I never knew that "fithy years plus nine" equaled a "Happle Birthday." Or that random capitalization and periods (the punctuating kind, that is, not the monthly kind) were so in vogue these days. Maybe. i. should. Try. it.!.*

Ok, Monica S., I promise: As soon as I find some "underware", I'll remember to wear them.

Um. What?
Julie S., did this come with a translator?

Or not to cool?
That is the question, Jodee R.

Exclusionary cake really is the best kind:

Unless of course "But-Ringo" is some kind of unfortunate nickname. Which would make you wonder how exactly...uh...you know...

Yeah, maybe we shouldn't follow that thought train too far down the tracks, eh, Glynis E.? Yeah. Hey kids, just look at that ugly airbrushing! Woo wee, is that ugly! Haha!

*Hey, I just realized that when you combine a ! with two ..s, it looks kind of like a cute little chicken head. See? .!. No? Ok, I've officially been at this computer too long...

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