Punctuation Rule's

Today I thought it'd be good to go over the five basic;... "punctuation" rules.

Bakers, pay attention.

 

Rule #1: Sometimes periods, question marks, and exclamation points are important.

 

And they usually go at the end of the sentence.

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(But what if it's not mine?)

 

Rule #2: Commas. Use them.

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Unless you actually own an ass quitter.

 

Also note that the word "comma" can sometimes sound like "karma."

Just FYI.

 

Rule #3: Apostrophe's. Sure. Why not.

(And that's the FIXED version...)

 

Rule #4: When in doubt, throw in some extra exclamation marks.

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What you lack in competency you can always make up for with enthusiasm.

 

Or, if you're REALLY confused, try some ellipses!

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Eh?!

 

And finally:
Rule #5: Quotation Marks Are For Sarcasm, NOT EMPHASIS.

If it helps, just imagine Dr. Evil saying the bit you put in quotes.

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Yep, just follow these five simple rules, and you'll be fine.

"Promise.”

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Thanks to Terry H., Mel P., Shawn G., Kate A., Chrissie G., Ebony M., Megan H., Christina M., Norma Jean, Andrea P., & Sarah V. for the extra dose of eeee-vil.

*****

A lot of you need this shirt. Just saying’.

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And from my other blog, Epbot: