WE NEED MORE ROOSTER TEARS

"Missus Jen, how many wrecks does it take to get to the center of your resolve against believing in a voodoo curse placed on our bakeries' numeric suffixes?"

"Let's find out!"

Firth of all...
I really like saying "firth."

Toothly, allow me to point out that this is after they "fixed" it:

So I'm guessing it used to read "2rd."

(Psst. Say "2rd" out loud. Go on. It's fun! You know you want to.)

And thirthly...

Hey, that was fun. Let's try that again:

And thirthly...

(Resolve...weakening...)

And THIRTHLY...

They think the brown and yellow drips will distract us.

They're right.

Ok, ok, let's quit horsing around and get to business:

And thirthly:

Yep, that's it. I am now thoroughly convinced there is a nefarious Voodoo plot formed in the bowels of some super villain's bakery to make us all sound like Daffy Duck.You just can't argue with this kind of evidence.

But we're on to you, super villain! We know you're out there!

Ok, fine, you've made your point. Clearly we are at your mercy.

Aaand now you're just showing off.

In fact, Mr. or Mrs. Super Villain, I think I speak for us all when I say: "You're dethspicable."

Thanks to Anne, Jessica B., Sarah S., Jamie R., Kacey S., Vivek R., Teri R., & Diane C., who I've just inducted into my new Superhero League, Capes for Cakes. Report to the secret lair for your lassos and piping bags.

*****

P.S. You seem stressed. Take two of these and don't call me in the morning:

Squishy Stress Voodoo Doll

NOOOOOOO!!!

Poor Darth Vader. He used to be the baddest of the bad guys, the deadliest dad, and the grumpiest force-choker around. Over the years, however, he's been reduced to a cuddly bear, a Hello Kitty parody, and a really excellent dancer.

Adding to the indignity, in 2011 George Lucas added some "tweaks" to the original Return of the Jedi which included a rather entertaining Vader yell, which has been described as "ridiculous," "undignified," and "Dude, it's a yell. What's the big deal?

Well, never fear, fellow fans! I'm here to help.

In fact, I promise you'll never think that yell is undignified again.

Compared to these.

NOOOOOOO....

OOOOOO.....

OOOOOOO....

Oh. Actually, this one's not so bad - since it's plastic and all. I just find it funny to imagine Vader using contractions. Go on, say it in your head. "LUKE I'M YOUR FATHER." No? Just me?

Right, moving on.

[Inhale]

....OOOOOOOOOO!!!!

 A grateful force-choke to Timbrely, Clare, Julie Anne D., Annie L., Arielle C., and Brenda J. Now if you'll excuse me, I'm off to watch the Vader TomTom commercial again. That thing cracks. me. up.

*****

P.S. Sure, Darth's been though a lot, but don't you worry. He just needs some thyme:

Darth Vader Herb Grinder

Eh? EH?

::self high-fives::

*****

And from my other blog, Epbot: