Ghost Taunters

"Hello and welcome to Ghost Investigator Dudes. I'm Brad Johnson, a frat boy jock who isn't afraid of ANYTHING and enjoys taunting the afterlife by yelling challenges into empty cellars.

"With me are Joey..."

"Yo!"

"...and Mike."

"Yo!"

"Today we're here at the old Chattanooga asylum, where, like, a bunch of people died 'n stuff and we're totally gonna lock ourselves in all night and see what happens and film everything with shaky pocket infrared cameras and bad sound equipment.

"Awright, let's get started! So we're going down to the dungeons to...

"WHOA!!! Something touched me! Dude! Did you get that on camera?!?"

"No."

"Aw, dude."

(Geeet oooouuuut!!)

"Righteous. So, like, now we're going down into the kitchens where they kille..."

"WHOA!!! Did you see that?"

"No." "There! In the corner! Were you filming?"

"Sorry, man, no - but I did feel a little cold just then."

"Duuude."

(No seeeeeriously. Geeeet oooouuuut!!!)

"Shyah. That was, like, almost totally spiritual. So, check it! The caretaker here says there's this dog? That's like a ghost? That haunts the library and kills people? So we should totally go there."

"Whoa!"

*beep* *beep* *beeeeeeeeeeeep*

"Did you *beeeep*'n see that?!?"

[camera swinging wildly, sound of scuffling feet]

*beeeeep*

"Dude, tell me you got that on tape!!"

"Sorry, bra. It was pointed at the floor."

"Whoa."

(I kill you!!)

"Ok, so, like, there's a wedding chapel in this asylum that's, like, totally haunted, right? And a bunch of people died there last week so, like, let's turn off all our lights and point our cameras at the floor."

[girlish shriek]

"DUDE! I saw something move!"

"Something walked by me!!"

"Someone's massaging my shoulders!!!"

(Well, hello there.)

*beeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeep*

Thanks to Emily L., Jessica L., Leslie H., Urvashi, & Tama, but we still don't know what happened to André.

Happy St. Memerial's Day!

It's Memorial Day here in the U.S., a day when we pause to celebrate and remember the sacrifices of our fallen military heroes. Fortunately, our nation's bakers have done their part, too, reminding us:

"Never Foget,"

And to:

"Alyauys Remember..."

Because we MUST...

Let the dome be free! AND LET FREE DOME RING!!

And why does the dome ring?

***

Er...

Well, that clears things up.

(I'll help you out: It's supposed to say "In memory of our fallen soldiers." What it *actually* says is "Memolg of oar alling Soldie." In related news, I'm so proud to be an American right now, I could just deep-fry a stick of butter!)

So in closing, allow me to wish you all a very:

And let's hope Memerial enjoys it, too.

Thanks to Jolly D., Dawn S., Dawnan H., Beth H., Laura M., and to all of our military personnel and families - past and present - for defending us even when we don't show them the respect they deserve. We are forever in your debt. God bless you all, with extra sprinkles on top.