Penal Code Violations

NOTE: These cakes may have been meant for children, but the commentary is not. Double entendres ahead!

Do you ever get the feeling that certain bakers are up to some...er...monkey business?

I think this monkey lacks a certain...appeal.

I mean, maybe it's just me, but it seems like some of today's wreckerators are getting downright...

...nutty.

(I had two different readers send in two different pictures of this cookie cake, btw. See?)

There's something kind of awesome about having a pair of photos of a pair of...um...pink blobby things.

(Swinging plums? Low riders? Crown jewels? Man tonsils? Pant Potatoes? Scroto Baggins? Ok, internet, you've earned your keep tonight.)

Oh, and I *think* they were going for a heart. Maybe. And before you ask, no, the baker should not be sacked, because this is far too entertaining.

I'm sure some of you may think I'm being unfair. Well, not to worry, wreckerators; you'll get your day in court.

Just no dribbling, please.

There's a certain bakery chain (which shall continue to Remain Nameless) that has a rather curious carrot cake design. It looks like this:

You guys have sent me a bunch of examples, so I can assure you: this really is how the cake comes:

So my question is this: if we all sat around discussing the failings of this particular design, would that make it a circle jerk?

[Bah-dum-BAH!]

And while I'm being inquisitive, bakers, I've got to ask: do your wrecks ALWAYS have to look like dongs?

o.0

Ok, never mind.
Please bring the ding dongs back.

Thanks to Carrie C., Beth M., Rachael, Becca S., Nick D., Michelle W., & Richard for taking a firm stance on today's wrecks. And for the excuse to write "pants potatoes."

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P.S. For some reason these seem appropriate today:

Wine Condoms

Don't worry; they're for your wine, not your wang. (Which really should be their advertising jingle. CALL ME, WINE CONDOM PEOPLE.)

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And from my other blog, Epbot:

John's Precious Submissions

Jen's been sick in bed today, and was so out of it this morning that she asked ME to write a post. This is john (the hubby of Jen), btw.

And so I present to you:

"What happens when John writes a post (mostly) unsupervised." 

Or,

Fun Fact: that is the face I make when I check your emails.

Speaking of ducks, Abigail sent in this cake from a going-away party.

In her words: "I don't know what a 'hood duck' is, but I imagine it is some sort of hood ornament for a special migration vehicle."

Which of course made me wonder if there was a duck hood ornament...

And of course there is.

(I'm getting Darkwing Duck-as-a-Sumo-Wrestler vibes here.)

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Amber writes: "I told the local bakery that I wanted half of my cupcakes to say ‘Dirty 30’ and the other half to say ‘34’"

Huh. Tell me, Amber, did you have to halve half of the "have" cupcakes?

English is fun.

(Jen would like it to be known that this gif was her sole contribution for today.)

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Next up, Wendy brought in a picture of the cake she wanted.

Because that always ends well.

On the plus side, I can show you both the picture Wendy brought in AND the cake she got in one shot:

But wait, THERE'S MORE.

I went looking for Wendy's original photo on Google Image Search, since I couldn't tell what the blue lump was. I found this:

It's like the road untraveled, Wendy! A different, darker timeline! LOOK WHAT COULD HAVE BEEN.

(I'm still not entirely sure, but I think the blue lumps are legs.)

(Also if you search for "blue legs gif" you won't be disappointed.)

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And now for something... completely different.

Rachel discovered what happens when a wreckerator gets a job in the neon sign business:

As Rachel says, "I’m just hoping they got a deal on the sign."

You and me both, Rachel.

Thanks to Abigail H., Amber S., Wendy K., & Rachel G., who are all welcome to join me for some Thai cuisine. Or a Thai crusurel. One of the two.

*****

And from my other blog, Epbot: