"Tall And Tan And Young And Lovely, The Girl From Ipanema Goes Walking..."

If you hadn't heard, today is National Talk In An Elevator day. Each year, we use this day to step out of our comfort zone, go beyond the small talk, and really open to each other in that delightfully confined space.

For instance, let's say Doug held the door for you. You might say:

But why not try something that will really get the conversational juices flowing?

Something like:

See? Now you're sure to have a lively conversation!

Oh no! You stepped on Nelah's toes on the crowded elevator?

You could say:

But why not lean in close and scream:

This works especially well if it's not your birthday.

Brad from Marketing just made a big sale. Normally, you might greet him with something simple like:

But you hate Brad.

No better place to start a rumor than an elevator.

Eventually, you'll reach your floor and it will be time to get off. (heyooooo)
You could say something boring like:

But why not leave them with more to talk about?

Make sure they all know you're talking to Brad.

He knows what he did.

Thanks to Lucas K., Andrea H., Emiline P., Robin, Stacie J., Kate R., David P., & Alex H. for the cake that's sure to go viral.

*****

P.S. Speaking of painful things, a friend recently got me this gel cap for my migraines, and sweet icy Stay Puft, y'all, it's amazing:

Migraine Hot/Cold Gel Cap
 

 I have a huge head and a lot of hair, so it's pretty snug on me, but the extra pressure with the cold is heavenly during a migraine. I used to hold a cold pack and keep shifting it around from side to side, but this wraps my entire skull in a cooling hug. Ahhhh so good.

I keep the gel cap sealed in the fridge all the time now, so I can grab it as soon as a headache starts up. The cold does only last 15-20 minutes, but it's 1000% worth it in my book, highly recommend.

*****

And from my other blog, Epbot:

AB-Solute Sexiness!

Every now and then I start thinking maybe I should diet. This is because, according to every piece of media everywhere, I am not a man until I have abs. And while I've never seen my abs, I assume they're around here somewhere - possibly hiding under 37 years of extra cheese.

Luckily, I work at Cake Wrecks and so have a handy guide as to what my abs will look like during the dieting process.

First, after losing my initial cheese-ton of weight, I'll probably just have a lot of extra loose skin:

My sexiness will have begun.

Then, after hundreds and hundreds of hours in the gym, I will develop the coveted "3 pack:"

"Look into my pectoral eyes, and weep at my chiseled beauty. WEEP, I SAY."

Which will soon begin to divide...

...and look mildly shocked at being discovered.

Later, after countless thousands more hours in the gym and a steady diet of kale and corn husks, my abs will really start to spread out:

Like Twinkies under a blanket.

Mmmm Twinkies...

And finally, after years of neverending, staggering misery, I will be able to bask in the glory of my oh-so-sexy new abs:

Like Brad Pitt, only better.
And a little more lopsided.

[head tilt]

Huh.

You know, on second thought, I think my abs are happy where they are.

Right, guys?

Right.

Now, who wants Twinkies?

Thanks to Ashlee, Brandi H., Solveig, Anony M., Stephanie S., & Stephanie A. for presenting their bodies of evidence... and for sharing the snack cakes. [hint hint]

*****

P.S. Hey. Speaking of chests, here's a quick shout-out to my favorite wire-free bra:

Warner's Easy Does It Seamless Wireless Bra

I own four of these, and plan to keep buying all the colors. Up 'til last year I ONLY wore wired bras - usually Warners - and it took buying-and-returning over a dozen different brands and styles before I found a wireless one I liked. This one averages $25-30 Prime, but I watch the listing and buy any color that goes on sale for less than $20.

I love the under-arm smoothing panel - no dig or pinch! - and like most Warners, these are incredibly comfortable. Be sure to check the image gallery for a better idea of how they look on larger tracts of land.

*****

And from my other blog, Epbot: