Wreck Encounters of the Worst Kind

Have you experienced a Wreck Encounter with an Unexplainable Sweet Object (USO)? Watch for these signs!

Wreck Encounter of the First Kind: Visual sighting less than 50 feet away that shows considerable -- albeit completely useless -- detail.

Your guess is as good as mine.

Wreck Encounter of the Second Kind: A physiological effect is manifested, such as confusion or discomfort in the viewer.

*hurk*

Wreck Encounter of the Third Kind: An animated creature is present. These include bipeds,

um... [head tilt]... robots?

and whatever these are:

On the plus side, they don't seem able to breathe our atmosphere.

Wreck Encounter of the Fourth Kind: Direct communication between wrecks and humans.

Shhhh! Don't distract me... I can -- almost -- make it out...

Wreck Encounter of the Fifth Kind: Death associated with an Unexplainable Sweet Object.

Poor Mickey. It was a real blood bath.

(We experts call this "wrecksanguination.")

Wreck Encounter of the Sixth Kind: The creation of a human/USO hybrid.

THE POD PEOPLE ARE COMING.

If you've had a Wreck Encounter with a USO, send Cake Wrecks photographic evidence right away!
(Just don't get caught taking the pictures...)

We WANT to Believe!!!

Out of this world thanks to Anabel J., Cat, Anony M., Mark H., Nate W., Bridget A., & Robert A. for helping prove wrecks are out there. (Um, wait a minute, guys... That's NOT one of the accepted hand gestures...)

*****

And to shed a little light on your next laptop encounter, how about this astronaut USB light?

You close her visor to turn off the light! BRILLIANT!

And at only $9 Prime on Amazon, it's a STELLAR stocking stuffer. (See what I did there?)

FIST FLOWERS OF DOOM

Ahh, Spring! The air is crisp, the flowers are blooming, and the garden slugs are JUST peeking out from their hidey holes:

...in our cakes.

Ew.
Maybe we should go back to the flower thing.

After all, flowers make everything prettier, from weddings:

...to anniversaries:

...to birthdays:

...to, um, chicken feet?

(I'm sure the baker would have labeled it a dead cactus, but no one can read her chicken scratch anyway.)

Hey, you know the only thing better than rosebuds in Spring?

A double feature of The Tell-Tale Heart.

:D

And while we're talking flowers that look like body parts:

WHY DO THESE FLOWERS HAVE FINGERS?

Here, I'll zoom in:

See?

They're like tiny little fists of doom, preparing to flip us off with their tiny little chubby fingers.
Of doom.

For that matter, the whole cake is kind of a bad trip gone worse, am I right? Random fist flowers, poo nuggets, an abstract bow/bat being attacked by giant dots...

I feel perhaps I'm getting a little "off point."

So, in conclusion: Yay Spring. Until the bee sperm bumble tadpoles X-Wing Bees show up.

o.0

'Cuz that's a honey boo-boo if I ever saw one.

Thanks to Caroline L., Amanda D., Sarah M., Ferryn, Lizzy E., John W., Syd D. & May for putting an extra Spring in our step.

*****

And from my other blog, Epbot: