NO FLOWERS ALLOWED

One of my favorite things is watching bakers try to make "manly" cakes for father's day. 

Don't get me wrong, bakers; I appreciate your efforts to shield men's delicate sensibilities from flowers and flourishes and pretty colors, I do.

I just also find it hilarious.
(It's a tire. I think.)

Hey, you know what is definitely NOT girly and therefore the epitome of what men like to look at?

RAW MEAT.

Hurp, there it is.

I feel like that meat isn't quite raw enough, though.

Quick! Someone flatten a fish!

Ahhh, you caught him right at the moment of impact, delicious.

Let's see, what else?

Oh! I know!

You know how some guys are tools?

Boom.

(Although this could also be for someone who snores. Eh? EH??)

Of course anyone can be a tool if they put their minds to it (Go, LIVE YOUR DREAM), so really it's unfair that we can only give this kind of veiled insult around Father's day.

I associate my feelings for you with a pair of pliers. 
Yes, in a torture kind of way.
OBVIOUSLY.

I'm just glad that we live in a modern age where men are NOT only associated with tools and raw meat, though.

Yep, they also come with ridiculously oversized remote controls.

MANLY!

After all those browns and blacks and grays, it's actually quite refreshing to see a kicky little crop top for Dad:

A scoop neckline with a fat 70s tie?

Hey, you do you, Dad. YOU DO YOU.

So in conclusion:

::head tilt::
Sure. Why not.
(I mean, at least it doesn't have any flowers.)

Thanks to Amanda R., Katrina S., Kelly M., Heather F., Jenn H., David G., Carrie W., I.G., & Jacki P., who'd like to remind us of the best holiday to celebrate this week:

Happy Falker Satherhood!

*****

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