You Might Be A Wreckerator If...

Bakers, do you worry that you, too, might be a wreckerator?

Well, have no fear, pastry pros! There are plenty of warning signs to look for:

You Might Be A Wreckerator If....

- ...you consider "happy" a four-letter word.

- ...your cakes have more plastic on them than frosting.

- ...when you say, "I could just eat you up!" to a baby, you really mean it.

"It's...looking at me."
"Ugly little spud, isn't it?"
"I think it can hear you, Ray."

- ...cupcake cakes are your "specialty."

- ...your family crest says, "Spell check is for loosers."

 - ...you not only know what this is, you think it's well done:

- ...you're frequently asked what time the earthquake hit.

- ...you pride yourself on following customer requests to the letter:

And finally, you might be a wreckerator if...

...you have to ban photography in your bakery to stop your cakes from showing up on Cake Wrecks.

(I get the e-mails, folks; I know you're out there!)

Thanks to Kimber, Amy S., Lori M., Carrie M., Whitney, Mary Rose, Liz, Stephanie B., Lisa R., & JR, who think it'd make more sense to just hire better bakers, but that's why they're not "good" management material.

*****

P.S. In case this post wasn't painful enough:

Exceptionally Bad Dad Jokes

There are a lot of "dad joke" books out there, but this one has awesome ratings AND the word "spiffing" on the cover, so it's a clear winner.

*****

And from my other blog, Epbot:

Fee Fi Fo Fana!

Yesterday we learned that writing names on cake can result in some pretty unfortunate nicknames.

But what if you already have an adorable nickname? Like "Briana Banana?" How do you wreck that up?

Well, in that case, I suppose the baker could always misspell it.

But that's kind of boring, right? So, let's see... what if - hypothetically - the baker misspelled "banana", but then also, instead of drawing a banana on the cake, she tossed a real, unpeeled banana on top?

No, wait - first she should shrink-wrap the banana and draw a smiley face on it with a Sharpie. Eh? And then tie a bunch of curly ribbon around the banana stem. Totally.

And then - THEN - just because all of that makes way too much sense, the baker could sprinkle something really ridiculous all around the shrink wrapped smiley-face banana with curly ribbon tied on its stem. Something like...I dunno...little tiny dog bones.

Yeah. That would be one AWESOME wreck. Hypothetically speaking, of course.

Right, April A.?

*****

P.S. The only thing that story was missing was a banana hammock.

I got you:

Macrame Under Cabinet Fruit Hammock
*****

And from my other blog, Epbot: