Easter Enigmas

You guys, I am so glad Easter is this Sunday. If it weren't, I'd be tempted to think a few of our local bakers had finally cracked.

"Then stick a bendy straw in the side of the happy little mountain and lots of cool lightning fissures in the sky and the ground and LET'S ALL WEAR ICING BIKINIS AND GO SWIMMING IN THE LOBSTER TANK. Woooeeeoohhh!!!"

Seriously, look at this cake and tell me you don't see a total basket case:

Or, ok, maybe a muppet with roses for eyes and a nose.

(I guess HE won't need rose-colored glasses, eh? EH? Or have to stop and smell the roses? [nudge nudge] Amirite? AMIRITE?)

(Ok, Ok. I'll leaf you alone now.)

(OH SNAP.)

You know how long it took you just then to realize that basket cake was upside down? Well, take that time and double it, and that's at least how long I stared at this next one, completely mystified:

"I don't know about legs, but it definitely had arms because it reached out for me."

Which came first, the chicken or the egg? Thanks to this baker, we finally have an answer:

It was the chicken sperm.

Now, I would ask what chicken sperm has to do with Easter, but then I'd probably just get a lecture from someone about how Easter is just a pagan fertility holiday appropriated by the Christians for the blah-de-blah-degibbity-blah, and then my face would get stuck like this:

This is my "No, really, I'm fascinated - please keep talking" face.

So I guess it's a good thing I don't leave the house much.

Speaking of which, if you are religiously inclined...

...pray no one crosses you with one of these.

And now, for today's grand finale, allow me to present A Chick With A Unibrow Doing Her Best Duckface:

[drumroll, please]

She's bringing sexy quack.

Thanks to Nicole J., Vicky, Marianne F., Jess S., Jessica R., & Emily O. for today's fowl humor.