Are These Boobs? Do I Censor This? WHAT IS EVEN HAPPENING HERE

Minions, all I know about today's cake is that it was for a shower. I'm guessing a baby shower? Though I suppose it could have been for a bridal shower. Heck, this thing's weird enough it could have been for an actual wrap-up-your-hair-and-grab-the-back-loofah shower. I have no idea, is what I'm saying.

Also, can nipples be yellow? I only ask because I don't know if I should censor this thing or not. I mean, maybe those aren't nipples at all, maybe they're... [head tilt]... little sombreros. On cantaloupes. Being held in a purple neck sling thingie.

Which brings me to another issue: is the purple thing supposed to be a bra? Because news flash, baker: bras don't work like that. AT ALL.

Oh yeah, I guess I should show you all the cake, huh? You're probably asking, "Jen, are we there yet?" Which is funny, you asking it that way, because that brings me to the final weird bit:

...are we WHERE yet? Who's asking? What does that have to do with sombrero-wearing cantaloupes in a neck sling? How is any of this shower related? Is this real life? WHAT IS HAPPENING HERE??

[sits back down]
[pats hair into place]

Ahem.

Well, thanks, Cindy W., for leaving us with only questions. I look forward to everyone's myriad hypotheses - and sketches of sombrero-wearing cantaloupes - in the comments.

*****

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