This Missed Mark Will Bug The Heck Out Of You
Ever heard of Stanley Stinkbug?
Yeah, me neither.
Apparently he's a children's character who looks like this:
As far as anthropomorphic bugs go, I guess he's not TOO terrifying. I'd put him somewhere between Heimlich the caterpillar and Hopper the evil grasshopper: Not a bug you'd want to cuddle, exactly, but that probably wouldn't make you run screaming from the room, either. Plus the neckerchief is fun.
Anyhoo, of course - of course - bakers have been asked to make cake versions of Stanley, and of course some of those bakers have done so... poorly.
The good news is today's baker was only asked to do a flat illustration on a cupcake cake (patooie!), which is a running head start, right? No molding or sculpting, just a picture. Heck, they could even print one out!
So what do you think, did they make Stanley's eyes all wonky? Is his scarf the wrong color, is he missing some legs? Oh! I know! I bet... you just want me to just show you the cake, don't you.
Fine.
BEHOLD!
Actual footage of my reaction:
Also now this gif is blocking my view of the cake, so... BONUS.
Now, before I nope right out of here, I'd like to point out that the baker CLEARLY thought management wanted an actual stinkbug cake for the display case, but never thought to ask A) WHY DEAR LORD WHY, or B) why it was named Stanley.
I mean, c'mon, you get told to draw a random bug named Stanley, tell me you wouldn't add some glasses and a sweater vest. That's just common sense.
Also, is this the sort of bakery where random horrific requests are this common? Was the baker asked to make a "Tiffany Tapeworm" last week, so Mr. Stinkbug was par for the course?
::dares to scroll up briefly to see the cake again::
K, last question: Did the baker think putting the giant semi-realistic stinkbug on a bed of lettuce... was helping??
Aaaaand I'M OUT.
Thank you(?), Emily S. I do not approve.
*****
P.S. After my crack about cuddle-worthy bugs, naturally I had to go see if I could find some. And I gotta say, the ant? ADORABLE:
Plush Bugs
I draw the line at the giant rhinoceros beetle, though. ::shudder::
*****
And from my other blog, Epbot:
