Pan-Tastic!
*peppy infomercial music*
[yelling in a high-pitched monotone]
HI JOHNNY YATES HERE FOR THE ORIGINAL PAN-TASTIC ALL-IN-ONE CAKE PAN. THE FASTEST, EASIEST, SAFEST WAY TO BAKE AND DECORATE ANY CAKE YOU CAN IMAGINE... GUARANTEED! JUST LOOK AT THESE RESULTS:
*WAH...waaaah*
[yelling louder]
THE UNIQUE DESIGN OF THE PAN-TASTIC LETS YOU TURN ANY CAKE INTO A WORK OF ART!
YOU'LL NEVER HAVE TO THINK ABOUT CAKE DESIGN AGAIN!
Attractive, Well-Dressed Woman: "But how does it work?"
SIMPLE! JUST POUR, BAKE, AND DECORATE!
IT'S THAT EASY!
Slightly Confused, Attractive, Well-Dressed Woman: "But can I use it for the Fourth of July?"
[screaming]
ABSOLUTELY!
THE PAN-TASTIC WORKS FOR ANY OCCASION!
EVEN PEOPLE WHO ARE ALL THUMBS CAN DO IT!
Pouty, Slightly Less Attractive But Still Well-Dressed Woman: "But my husband is left- handed!"
NO PROBLEM! THE PAN-TASTIC IS AMBIDEXTROUS!
FATHER'S DAY WILL NEVER BE THE SAME!
Wide-eyed Woman In A Sweater Vest: "And what about my mom, the proctologist?"
WE'VE GOT HER COVERED, TOO! IN BRIGHT PINK LATEX!
GIVE HER THE FINGER WITH PAN-TASTIC!
REMEMBER, DON'T SETTLE FOR IMITATORS!
GET THE ORIGINAL AND GET MORE BUNNY FOR YOUR MONEY WITH PAN-TASTIC!
THE CAKE SENSATION THAT'S SWEEPING THE NATION!
AND IF YOU ORDER NOW, WE'LL THROW IN THE CAKE-MAGIC ALL-PURPOSE HELMET PAN... ABSOLUTELY FREE!
THAT'S A 600 DOLLAR VALUE! YOURS FOR THE LOW, LOW PRICE OF $19.99!
ORDER NOW!
Thanks to Grahm, Stephanie L., Stephanie, Erin M., Matilda, Scott A., Celeste B., and Sweet for the hand-outs.
*****
P.S. Bet you didn't think I'd find something bizarre enough to match these cakes, huh? Well BEHOLD:
Handy LED Flashlight gloves
Apparently they're good for repair work under sinks or cars or in horror movies where you point at a dark corner and see lots of teeth. Good to know.
******
And from my other blog, Epbot:
